When sex workers began working independently, clients could contact them directly. When communication is done within a reasonable manner, it is a win/win scenario for both parties. Clients want to feel comfortable with their choice of sex worker and sex workers want to feel comfortable welcoming a stranger into their home. Some communication prior to an engagement, whether by correspondence or telephone, alleviates nervousness for both parties and helps to establish a positive relationship.
Oftentimes, however, what begins as a reasonable expectation for a client to be assured by his choice of sex worker quickly becomes an unreasonable expectation for increased time. Before an engagement, some clients go beyond the realm of reasonable when they expect daily correspondence for days/weeks on end. During an engagement, some clients go beyond the realm of reasonable when they expect that their appointment should be double the length of time to which they have paid.
We should never forget that sex workers have commitments outside their lives as sex workers. Some sex workers have children; some sex workers go to school; some sex workers have other jobs, etcetera. Their time is valuable and should be respected as such.
When first communicating with a sex worker, send a formal introduction based upon the preferred communication medium as stated on the sex worker’s website/advertisement. Contacting a sex worker on an unstated medium, for example direct message on Twitter (unless she explicitly okays it), demonstrates that you are a client who pushes boundaries. Direct message on Twitter is a personal medium which is usually reserved for other sex workers and return clients. In truth, the reason why many sex workers do not “follow back” clients is because direct messaging has been repeatedly abused.
The proportion of communication should be an amount which establishes comfort for both the client and sex worker. One or two e-mails prior to an engagement or a brief telephone call is a reasonable expectation. Unlimited e-mails and persistent phone calls/texting is unreasonable. Please note that, after an engagement, an e-mail or phone call expressing thanks to the sex worker is a welcomed, reasonable action.
With respect to time during an engagement, it is a reasonable expectation for a client to not want to be rushed; however, it is unreasonable to expect unlimited time during an engagement. Because many sex workers fear being labeled a “clockwatcher” they have become so generous with their time that they are the ones who are being taken advantage of by some clients. As such, clients should be reasonable in their expectations. An hour engagement is an unrushed hour, it is not two hours or more.
This does not mean that there are not times when sex workers correspond extensively and/or give extra time to clients. However, the clients that receive these perks have earned it by putting in the time to get to know the sex worker over many engagements. Why should a first-time client get the same treatment as a gentleman that you have known for months and/or years?
For special treatment to be sincere, it has to be earned; it cannot be forced by a client overstepping boundaries. When clients push their way into extra time/attention, they are not only devaluing a sex worker’s current service offerings, but they are also devaluing her in the process.